According to my pastor, I need a journal. It’s a bit odd I don’t already have one started in at least one of my many gold spiraled notebooks with the encouraging quote on the cover that I just have to buy while I’m standing in line at TJ Maxx, but those are for lists, not journaling right? Meh. So here we are on the world wide web instead, you know just in case I forget my notebook at home.

Today was a doozy at first, I woke up late and my ADHD decided to be assisted by anxiety so that meant no makeup, jeans and a t-shirt run to work irritable because I made a promise I’d have something turned in first thing in the morning. After that promise was fulfilled and my paperwork was properly filed and my extremely organized folder was emptied into my bosses box I had errands to run. My errands included shopping, but not like regular shopping, but like work shopping and although it sounds like shopping it’s really like putting a baby car seat in the car as a first time parent. Yea! Off to Hobby Lobby (yes, this was a work trip because I didn’t even have Starbucks okay), I was struggling on how to make a home look manly at hobby lobby on a budget, see the agony. Guitars and music notes and wall hangings that would match, I was in the zone, until I started thinking TJ Maxx may give me better luck. I swapped gears, (this is where the magic happens so hang tight) I suppose I should tell you I’m marrying the prince in 10 days and I’m under a teeny tiny bit of stress, so along with my non-matching guitar decor in tow, I still needed gifts for different people for the big day. Also, he’s not truly a prince, like royal coat and throne sitting, although he does sit on a throne a lot ha, but I’m no longer with a pauper, so prince he shall be called. Good part coming……now, I’m on the bead aisle looking for charms and a gentleman is there also looking, I make my way past and pretend to be fixated on other items while he browsed where I wanted to be. He looks up and says “excuse me ma’am I’m in your way” I politely tell him he’s not (but I fibbed) that I had no certain thing I was looking for. He told me he was looking for a charm for his daughters, and he made small talk while picking up different ones and putting them back. I noticed he had paint brushes in his hand, you know the fancy ones that your art teacher used in high school, I commented on them and asked if he painted, just trying to fill the awkward stranger silence with southern hospitality, and he answered that he paints sometimes. He then asked if I had ever been to a particular restaurant, it was well known for the artwork and he was the artist that painted it. I asked why he didn’t paint so much anymore and he kinda shrugged his shoulders, and at that moment I said “you have to use your talent in the pit until you get to the palace, you can’t just wait until you get to the palace to use your talent”. Let me stop right there, I’ve been holding that in for days, I listened to a sermon by Sadie Robertson Huff while editing Monday and I had to go back and listen to that one part three times. It just did something to me, I wanted to share it with my fiancé, I didn’t. I wanted to post it on Facebook, I didn’t, but in this moment it come out like word vomit. This man stood up and turned his back to me, he turned back around and said “I needed that”. Boy was I stunned, I said “what, really, I’ve been holding that in for days I suppose God knew when I needed to use it”. I thought that was it, oh was I wrong. He asked where I was from and I told him, and I asked what his name was and he told me, “Heath”. He then asked if I knew the only guy he knew from my area, (we will call him Hop) when he said Hop’s name I froze. I had all the chicken skin, I felt cold, but warm inside like something come over me I was not expecting to hear Hop’s name. I told him yes, and he told me that Hop and him were buddies in a rehabilitation program years ago then he asked, “How is Hop, is he doing well, what’s he up to now” as his face lit up, he was so excited. Maybe he thought he could reconnect with an old friend, or hear good news about his long lost pal. My heart sank all the way down to my pinky toes as I pulled up old photos, I felt a little shaky as I handed him my phone to show him an old photo of Hop just to be sure this was his buddy. It was definitely his Hop, he laughed as he looked at the picture, I could tell he was reminiscing of their time shared together, he was so chipper looking at the photo he didn’t realize the tears that were slowly welling in my eyes, I had to tell this man I just met 5 minutes ago news that I was not so readily to share with a stranger standing in Hobby Lobby. My voice cracked and tears started flowing as I spoke, “Hop overdosed almost two years ago, I’m so sorry you didn’t know”. Heath broke. He lost it. Right there in the middle of the bead aisle at Hobby Lobby he was on his knees in the floor, I wrapped my arms around a stranger, a stranger that I was suppose to give a message to, a stranger that I was connected to by a $3.00 charm and an old friend, a stranger that needed more than paint brushes and a kitty cat charm at Hobby Lobby. This stranger needed comfort in more ways than a hug over a lost friend, he was more than lost, he was in the pit wasting talent. I sat there with him as he was coping with the devastating news that he was not prepared to hear, nor was I prepared to share. I could tell it was more than the loss of a friend, it was the “how”. I cautiously asked him if he was still using and I heard his quiet and ashamed reply, “yes”. My heart broke, a pain that I have felt too many times to count, a pain that was sadly familiar, nevertheless, it always stings like the first time being told someone is battling a demon. He stood up and said excuse me and walked away, he left everything there in the floor beside my feet, his paint brushes and two packs of charms, I had no idea if he would return, but I waited. I text my pastor and my prince and asked them both to pray for me and I would explain the details later. They must have put a red flag strapped to a rocket on those prayers because I felt them wholeheartedly! I sat down on an empty shelf and waited, trying to take in and make sense of what just took place. Heath actually returned, he was wiping his tear stained cheeks and runny nose. His face and eyes seemed like they had been rubbed raw, this was a lot of unplanned emotion for a Wednesday at Hobby Lobby, and it did not come with the discount that I was looking to find.

With the greatest of respect he said, “I know you’re getting married, but may I sit beside you for a minute”, he opened up to me and told me he was headed to pick up his “fix” when he left the store, he already had it planned, he said “I’m not going now, I don’t want to go”. I assume it was my obedience and word vomit, praise be to God, glory glory! We discussed his support system and what he does for work, I asked if he attends meetings and how does he plan to carry this sobriety out. I asked if he was in church, and asked if he had a Bible, he stated, “I have two in my truck, I have a Bible everywhere I go”, which I replied, “if you don’t get in the word, the word won’t get in you” if you know my pastor, you know his words rub off on you and I suppose that was a little bit of him coming out after nearly 10 years of listening to him. We talked about the Bible, about God, and church and he looked down at the items he was purchasing and for the third time on this aisle we were connected by God again as he said, “Use your God given talents”, absolutely shocked I replied with a really quick “do what” he continued to speak as I stood up to get my phone, “it’s scripture, use your God given talents to serve others”, I laughed as I told him that was number three, and showed him my phone, I had pulled up my memories on Facebook. On this exact day in 2017 I had shirts designed for my photography business and I had posted a photo of the front and back so excited of how they turned out, the back of the T-shirt had a vintage Minolta camera with 35mm film coiling behind it and arched across the top it had “Use your God given talent to serve others”. We both laughed at the divine intervention, and no longer questioned why we were searching for charms at Hobby Lobby during the middle of a Wednesday.

I grabbed an index card and a marker from my purse and quickly scribbled down the name of my church, and my name under it. Although my church is an hour and a half from Heath’s home town, I believe God will take you where you need to be, He showed that to the both of us today. I invited him to sit with my prince and I on Sunday, and laughed when I told him that anyone there could point him in my direction, I’m not shy and I’m also the only 4ft something in the building that doesn’t attend children’s church. Before we said our goodbyes, I asked him if I could pray over him. Now here is a good part, I can pray, and when we need prayer warriors at church I’ll be one of the first at the altar, no problem, I know how to talk to my Father, I’m not the best at it and that’s okay because God knows my heart and my sincerity for the person I’m praying over. That wasn’t the part that shocked me, what shocked the mess out of me was what come out of my mouth, “I” did not pray, that prayer from my fiancé, my pastor and myself made it from our lips to God’s ear because what come out of my mouth was beautiful. It was emotional, raw, empowering, heartfelt, it left me feeling like I was a messenger, a true disciple for my Father in Heaven. I believe the lights may have flickered in the whole county, it was powerful. We parted ways and tonight I pray Heath dusted off the Bible in his truck and happily gave his daughters the charms he took so long to pick out for them, instead of going to pick up a baggie that could end up being his “how” to a buddy he hasn’t heard from in years. Amen? Amen!

As I wrap this book up, I want to leave you with two things to think on, are you wasting your talent by waiting to use it in the palace? This comes from Joseph, do you remember when he was thrown into the pit for using his talent? Do you remember what got him out of the pit and into the palace? His talent! Don’t waste your God given talent, He wants you to use it right where you are, He has a plan, trust Him. The second thing to think on, how is your direct line to God? A few distractions? A little disconnected? Does it need some TLC, I know that after today, my prayer life needs a little bit more than some duct tape to fix it, but I do know how to get the connection back strong and clear. By getting in the word, and letting the word get in me.

That’s good stuff!